“Sparks After Dark” — A Late-Night Interview with Dr. Victor Frankenstein
[House band plays something that sounds suspiciously like a thunderstorm in 4/4 time. A prop Tesla coil crackles. A stagehand quietly mouths “insurance?”]
Cold Open
HOST (Dex Nightley): Tonight’s guest is a man who saw lightning and thought, “Yes. That. But make it personal.” Please welcome… Dr. Victor Frankenstein!
DR. FRANKENSTEIN: Good evening, Dex. Lovely studio. Very… alive.
HOST: Thank you! We moisturize the curtains. So, Doctor—electricity. You’re basically its biggest fanboy, yeah?
DR. FRANKENSTEIN: Electricity is not merely my passion. It is the universe’s love letter… written in lightning… signed, “try me.”
HOST: Wow. Poetry. Mild menace. Perfect for late-night.
Segment 1: “Doctor, Are You… Okay?”
HOST: Rumour has it you’ve been exploring modern electrical pursuits. Specifically… e-stim.
DR. FRANKENSTEIN: Ah. The refined art of controlled sensation. I discovered it and thought, “Finally—civilization has caught up to my interests. And the paperwork is better.”
HOST: Less villagers with torches, more checkout pages?
DR. FRANKENSTEIN: Precisely. Also: shipping updates. Remarkable times.
Segment 2: “Name-Dropping Like It’s Science”
HOST: And you’ve been spotted browsing E-Stim Emporium. Explain yourself.
DR. FRANKENSTEIN: Their catalog speaks to me, Dex. The names alone sound like devices from my laboratory:
- Stairway To Heaven — a title that implies ambition, drama, and possibly a guitar solo.
- Holy Plate — authority. Presence. The kind of thing that says, “We are conducting business.”
- Jet Set Willy — I refuse to ask questions; I simply respect the confidence.
- Moaner — I admire honesty in branding.
- Tripple — because sometimes two is… an opening act.
- Straight Shooter — direct, clean, and extremely “no nonsense.”
- Ball Cup — a design brief that clearly began with, “Let’s be specific.”
Segment 3: Frankenstein’s Shockingly Sensible Safety Corner
HOST: I have to ask: are you at least being safe?
DR. FRANKENSTEIN (dead serious): Dex, I may be dramatic. I am not reckless.
HOST: History disagrees, but continue.
- Start low. “Too much too soon” is not romance. It’s just rude.
- Consent and communication. No guessing. No “surprises.”
- Stop if anything feels wrong. Immediately. Then troubleshoot calmly.
- Use proper gear and sensible setups. Electricity rewards respect.
Segment 4: “Build Me a Dream Setup”
HOST: Hypothetical: you’re building your dream lineup. What’s in the kit?
DR. FRANKENSTEIN: A tasteful selection, curated for both science and… theatre:
Stairway To Heaven
For maximum “mad scientist in a cape” vibes—minus the tragic consequences.
Jet Set Willy
For when you want something bold, iconic, and unapologetically named.
Tripple
For variety, movement options, and that “one more setting” curiosity.
(Also available in other sizes.)
Ball Cup
For snug, stable placement and a design that clearly understood the assignment.
Final Segment: Closing Words from the Doctor
HOST: One message for modern humans exploring electricity for pleasure?
DR. FRANKENSTEIN: Electricity is a magnificent servant and a terrible master. Treat it with respect, keep it consensual, and for the love of all that is holy… label your switches.
HOST: That’s the most practical thing anyone’s ever said on this show.
[Thunder. Applause. A stagehand unplugs something with the frantic focus of a person who enjoys having eyebrows.]
